About a week ago I was outside feeling completely care-free and comfortable in short shorts and a t-shirt. The sun was a welcoming warm. It even made me want to try tanning despite the horrible truth my skin is un-tan-able. I baby sat my friends cute little two-year-old and we enjoyed the swing outside my house and played ball for over an hour.
A couple days later the rain started to fall. I generally love the rain except that this time it seemed to stop and then fall out of nowhere at the most inconvenient times such as on my way to work. Of course the closest parking space to my job was the furthest parking space I had ever had in my life and I was forced to run under the pouring rain hoping my make-up wasn’t sliding off my face. No worries, my face was saved.
Yesterday, the sun looked like it wanted to make a comeback. From my window I was deceived by how beautiful it looked outside. Fact is, sunlight can mean nothing in Chicago. It was still a very cold day much to my disappointment. Still I had hopes that the presence of the sun at least was a promise that spring was finally making a stand for warm weather.
Bright and early at 7:00 am this morning, determined to have a great start to my day with an hour run, I pulled on my running shoes, slipped on a hoodie (which I was hoping I wouldn’t really need), and opened the front door. Not only was the wind that greeted me ice cold, but there was snow on the ground! The thinnest layer, maybe just heavy frost, but it was still frozen which made me very unhappy. Resolutely, I continued my plan to run, although it did take the first thirty minutes of my run to finally feel warmed up enough to put my hood down.
My best friend pointed out that only in Chicago can you experience all four seasons in one week. I feel much like Chicago at times. This whole week I kept singing the song High of 75 by the very awesome group, Relient K.
On and off the clouds will fight for control over the skies, and lately the weather has been so bi-polar and consequently so have I. –Relient K
I have not experienced a whole range of emotions in one week, but I most definitely have this past month. It started wonderful, comfortable, and care-free. Soon, however, some things started happening in my life that made me worry. I felt like I might be losing someone very important to me. Then I did. One day I was fine, and then I was devastated. The change was as random and as quick as the weather. Some days I feel like it could be a good and easy day, but then it turns out to be harder and more frustrating than I anticipated. Now I am up and down depending on what I am doing. Sometimes it is the music I listen to. I am pumped with a good pop song, and then the next song on my shuffle makes me glum.
I am a girl, so I guess being emotional is kind of programmed inside of me. I know it is ok to have feelings and express them. I know that a crazy month can equal a crazy me. People are influenced by the situations they find themselves in, but I also know our situations shouldn’t define us. I have a choice to be tough through the harsh weather or not be. Being tough is something I have always been. I don’t always feel tough, and many times I let myself go and make really big mistakes because I let my emotions get the best of me. But overall, I know that I always am able to get back on my feet no matter what. I always have, thanks to God, my mom, my siblings, and my friends. People don’t always want to be tough. We sometimes wish we could just act as broken as we feel and let someone pick us up and put us back together. But we can’t know for sure that anyone will know how to do that so we have to stay strong. I have had a lot people tell me that lately, and they tell me because they know I can do it. The weather will always change, we just have to know how to dress appropriately for it.
