Sims

My family owns the PC version of the Sims 3 game and I must say all us kids are quite addicted to it. It’s interesting, how much the game fascinates us when the idea of the game is simply living life. The Sims grow up, go to school, have to find jobs, miss or obtain opportunities, just like real people, the only difference is they aren’t, and we as the players ultimately decide their future. We create them and guide the any way we want them to go. The Sims don’t have super powers, there is no winning or losing in the game therefore there is no competitive factor, but the game is still ever so appealing. What is the catch?

The answer seems pretty obvious. The thing we enjoy most about the game is that we are in control. We control the Sims favorites, skills, careers, house structure, romances, friendships, and the list goes on. More often than not I find that we like to create a Sims character that represents who we are. My Sims character is athletic and loves to write. In fact she is now a very good journalist, one of the best and is working on a Novel. My Sims character is a representation of who I am, but more accurately an image of who I wish I could be. It’s a weak attempt at controlling my own life in a virtual world. Ironically, while I am creating what I wish my life could be like I am wasting time I could actually be living it.

All of this made me realize that I am good at creating ideas in my head and dreaming big, but horribly bad at putting thoughts into action. I love planning out a strict workout schedule that looks great on paper, but have the toughest time getting out of bed to start it. I love picturing myself in a certain career, but I cannot force myself to work hard in school to get there. A lot of times I feel like a failure. Don’t we all feel like this at times? At some point or another, we all feel like life is passing us by; like there are too many opportunities we missed that there is no way we can every make up for them. Frustration takes over and we resort to different options, depending on the person. Some go wild and decide to not care anymore. They live for the moment, for pleasure, and for parties. Others withdraw and become depressed. Some try to find outlets for their frustrations, like trying to live their life through a computer game, or through someone else like a son or a daughter.

We cannot control what happens to us like we can control what happens to the Sims, but we do control our reactions. We control our attitude and our decisions. Our job isn’t to know what is coming, it is to accept what we cannot control and make the best of it. If we let ourselves get down over a bad situation, who are we helping? Nobody! In fact, giving up makes the situation ten times worse. Even after giving up, it is never too late to start trying again. That is a lesson I have learned: never give up. See things through to the very end, because you could never imagine the things that can happen if you persevere. Do not try to control life, but never lose control of yourself.

Cheating

Let’s talk about cheating in relationships. It is amazing how people are able to create such a big grey area when it comes to what is right and what is wrong in this topic. It also surprises me how we are willing to disturb something as fragile as a relationship just to do something we clearly know is a mistake. For example, a young woman plans to watch a movie alone with a guy friend who is clearly interested, but she has a boyfriend who she loves. Is the act in itself of going to the guy friend’s house cheating? I mean, we all know what is most likely going to happen. So we can conclude that since she knows what is inevitable, the simple act of putting herself in that situation is a purposeful act of cheating.

I guess the best way to look at it is from the partner’s perspective. If I knew my boyfriend had decided to watch a late night movie alone in a room with a girl, you better believe I would be upset and would not waste a second to confront him about it. Some people might say that it is completely different for a girl to hang out with a guy friend while in a relationship than a guy hanging out with a lady friend while in a relationship. Is it? I must admit, I don’t think twice about the former, but the latter is a definite no-no for me. How can this be? It is a complete double standard. Is it because we find guys less trust worthy? A girl can handle the pressure and resist, but a guy can’t? I don’t believe that to be true.

Whenever I think about cheating, I automatically start comparing it to murder. In a way they are very similar. There are different types, two of them being the following: premeditated, and in the heat of the moment. Premeditated is definitely the worst of the two offenses, and is also the hardest to forgive and forget. It is easier to find excuses for the unplanned acts of cheating. Still is it really a lower degree offense? It certainly hurts just as bad.

So what constitutes the act of cheating? Like I mentioned before is it the simple act of putting oneself into that situation? Or maybe even the first premeditated thought? Does it only count once there is a kiss, or is holding hands part of the crime? Some may go as far as to say it is only cheating when you sleep with someone other than your significant other. What if the relationship is not “official” are there rules that say you can’t go on a date with someone else in that case? What are the real rules?

I guess the only rule there is here is the golden rule: Do to others as you would have them do to you. In my case, the simple act of planning to spend some alone time with a guy after ten pm felt wrong to me. I am still working on many things with the guy I am in a relationship with now, but I care about him deeply. I am not interested in the other guy, but he is interested in me, and we have both been interested in each other in the past. The idea that there may be even the slightest potential of attraction between us during the visit is enough to stop me. I am not willing to go down that road. I don’t want to have to face the guy I care about and tell him what I did, even if I may feel it is insignificant because it might not be so insignificant to him. For me, my guilt is the line keeping me out of the grey area.  I feel good about myself. I can look him in the eye and be honest with him always. He can always trust me, and now I know that I can trust myself.

So why cheat? What good can come of it? We need to learn to start looking past our immediate desires. We are not babies that can only thing of pleasure and the “now”. If a relationship is worth having, then it is worth denying ourselves certain things for the sake of that relationship. If there is such a great desire to be with someone else, then there must be something very wrong with the current relationship and perhaps that relationship should come to an end to make way for the new one. If you love someone, there is no excuse for hurting them by being with someone else. It will ruin a relationship forever. If you love someone, never cheat. It’s that simple.

When cheating does happen, is there a chance for forgiveness? I am not qualified to answer that, especially since it very much depends on the individuals and the situation they are in. In my mind, honesty is definitely the best policy. The horrifying truth should be exposed as soon as possible, by the guilty party. If I had to keep a secret like that, it would kill me. I do believe that something as big as cheating can never be kept a secret forever. The truth will always slip out eventually.